30 Years of Marriage Advice

We’re celebrating our 30 years of weddings, marriage, and special occasions. 30 years of helping couples plan this important day, every step of the way, and seeing so many wonderful families grow. To relish in this celebration, we thought we should share some of our best advice from our very own Wedgewood Weddings family. Join us in celebrating 30 wonderful years with Wedgewood Weddings!

” Advice…. It’s so cliché but communication is key. You cannot have trust, loyalty, love, kids and fun in your life without. There isn’t anything I won’t tell my husband. If you can’t go to each other with just about anything, then what’s the point?

Let me preface this next part by saying I am a self-proclaimed control freak. I have to have my house in order, clean, tidy and no clutter. However, when it came to the finances, I learned early on that I couldn’t keep up with the bills and due dates, ugh! My husband took control and I never looked back. The same is not true with the remote control. That baby is mine!

You have to be aware of your strength and your weaknesses, together. It’s a team effort all the way.

My last cliche is this: choose your battles. My best friend’s mom always says, ‘do you want to fight, or do you want to be right?’
I am not one to apologize, especially if I think I’m right. But I’m not always right. So, it goes back to self-awareness.
I lied, here is my last one. NEVER go to bed angry. I have the worst nightmares about us when I go to bed mad.”
Beth, Wedgewood Weddings Indian Hills

“The first duty of love is to listen.” Paul Tillich . Talk a little less, listen a little more. Anonymous, Wedge-quarters

It’s so cliché, but communication. On a large scale, like child-rearing tactics, and on a small scale, like what you want for dinner. My husband and I do something slightly non-exciting for Valentine’s Day. Every year, I tell him exactly what I want. Whether it’s flowers or a fancy dinner or a movie night or a foot massage. I spell it out, ahead of time, exactly what I want. And then, every few years or so, I’ll give him a heads up and say, “I need you to do the work this year and figure out something on your own so I can feel a little spoiled.” But the key is, I tell him that VERY much in advance, because it’s hard for him to think of something on his own. And even if he massively fails (like, buys me a hideous pair of shoes), I always appreciate the fact that he tried. And then I remember why I tell him what I want every year.

Speaking of appreciation- I’d say that’s another BIG thing to focus on. It’s easy to get caught up in the everyday, monotonous, expectations of marriage. I ‘expect’ my husband to compliment the dinner I cooked for him. I ‘expect’ my husband to ask me how my day was when I get home. But that’s not the way it ALWAYS is for every couple. Sometimes, I need to remember to be appreciative when my husband asks me how my day is. What a selfless and sweet question. And expressing that appreciation, even just by kissing him on the forehead and saying, “Thanks for checking on me babe,” always goes a long way.

Here’s one that I don’t hear a lot- and it’s related to finances. My husband and I have what we call the “man account” and the “woman account.” They are separate savings accounts, and the same amount of money automatically transfers into each account every month, regardless of which one of us makes more money. The money in these accounts are for SELFISH purchases that the other spouse may or may not approve of. For example, if I just HAVE to go see Adele in concert and her tickets are stupidly expensive, “unjustifiably so” in my husband’s eyes, I can use my woman account money to splurge. Or, if he needs yet ANOTHER guitar (even though he has six in the closet), and I think it’s excessive, he can use the money in his man account. It has saved LOTS of potential disagreements and/or fights about feeling controlled by the other.  – Shannon, Wedgewood Weddings Sterling Hills

“Don’t sweat the small things!”
Cassie and Evelyn, Wedgewood Weddings Upland Hills